Dealing with Impulse
We at Bedrock Financial Health deal with impulsivity in our clients on a frequent basis. So much so that we have come to expect it as part of the package when working with someone new to our process. We plan for it. We work with it. We see it, rather than a character flaw, a survival skill someone uses to get their needs met. Why plan for the future when I have immediate needs that have to be met? We believe that this is the crux of the problem, while also being the solution. When we plan to get our needs met in the short term, while having an eye on the long-term, impulsivity is met with kindness and compassion. Using the following strategies, we create the space for new decisions to be made over time.
Protected Bank Accounts
One of the tools we created at Bedrock are Safeguard Accounts. These act like trust accounts on behalf of a client, with some of our own tools layered on top. The function of this tool is to “slow the roll” for our clients. We don’t want to stop our clients' behavior or punish them for the choices they make. We have found that the most influential thing we can do is leverage this tool with some of the others listed here. In doing so, we protect their decisions while also allowing them the space to be where they are on their own individual journey. In venturing outside the framework of the plan they create, they have to engage in behaviors that are the opposite of impulsivity: sharing with someone else the behavior they are engaging in, adding time to the decision making process, and confirming a decision (thereby making it twice).
Track Spending
This is one of the most influential feedback tools we employ at Bedrock. We maintain a log of our clients purchasing behavior for the purpose of getting an accurate picture. If we don’t know what is going on, how can we know what is going on? Again, to reiterate from above, this is not a punishment or shaming technique for better behavior. It is simply an acknowledgement of truth. When a client starts owning their truth, and the overlaying behavior, they get the freedom to make different choices in the future.
Regular Check-ins
The third tool in dealing with impulsivity is a regular weekly check-in. This time, spent with someone who knows the “whole life story” of the client, creates the container for all of the weekly events to be shared. This is a safe place where someone starts to own the behaviors they don’t feel proud about. This is a place for them to see some of the truth in how they operate. This is the place where they get to make new commitments, and hopefully new decisions, for the upcoming week. It is the fertile ground where change starts to happen.
Leeway in the Budget
In concert with the tracking of spending, a well-maintained budget allows the space for impulsivity to exist. By including flexibility in a budget, if at all possible, we allow the space for life to happen. Whether that is a flat tire or milkshakes at McDonald’s, we want to create the space for people to make mistakes (which we don’t view as mistakes!). This is life. Ultimately, by allowing this lack of rigidity in the planning process, we generate resiliency that helps clients stabilize in the long-run. We also have found that clients stop making as many impulsive choices because they start making informed decisions.
What makes me happy
This is the start of the journey for our clients. In their past, when putting together budgets, clients have neglected this category in their planning. They go barebones to make it all work and appear responsible. However, this usually led to even greater blow ups in the long run. We address this at the start with our clients. We want to know what lights their fire and what makes this journey worthwhile. This is unique and specific to each person that walks through our door. As we go through our Bedrock Process, clients are allowed to make choices that make them happy and meet their immediate needs. We find that, by allowing this space, clients make fewer impulsive choices when their needs are met.
